Category: leadership

How to Overcome the Dilemma of Getting Stuff Done and still Be Kind to Oneself

The post by Leo Babauta ‘How to Be Kind to Yourself & Still Get Stuff Done‘ resonates much with me, because it is a dilemma I am struggling with on a daily basis. I generally consider that effort is required to get things done, and tend not to be too kin don myself as a result of my drive.

“This is the fear, when people start being kind to themselves — that they’ll be too soft, they won’t get stuff done, they’ll let themselves off the hook too easily, they’ll just lie around doing nothing.”

Leo Babauta reminds us why kindness to self is so important. He often finds “that almost all of our barriers are self-imposed — we are harsh on ourselves, and it makes everything much more difficult“. Having compassion for oneself, and concentrating on doing things that are good for oneself, is the key to overcoming this dilemma.

I like this idea that if one is too hard on oneself, maybe it is also because what we are trying to do may be a bit harmful.

I’ll try to be a bit kinder to myself in the future, while still trying to get stuff done. It’s a good way to focus on what’s good for me too.

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How We Need to Consider Heartset as well as Mindset

Robin Sharma makes the point that when it comes to personal leadership or change, mindset is clearly not everything. We also need emotion, or what can be covered by heartset.

As we move progressively away from the rationalism, foundation of the Industrial Age, the mobilization of emotions become visibly increasingly important in terms of success and differentiation. And it thus comes down to developing one’s own heartset in parallel of one’s mindset.

What is a heartset? According to wikipedia, mindset is “a set of assumptions, methods, or notations held by [a person]” – and it defines how we respond to an event or an action. Accordingly, heartset could be defined as a set of emotions and emotional states held by a person, that define how we respond emotionally to situations.

Your mindset is important, and you should also consider developing your heartset. Emotional work is a decisive skill in the Collaborative Age.

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How Small Groups Can Now Bring Change Even Inside Large Organizations

It is well known that “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has” (Margaret Mead). It would seem this also applies from within large companies such as Google or Amazon, as explained in this interesting post ‘Small Groups United by a Shared Purpose are Changing Big Tech Companies. Here’s How‘.

The examples developed are how a group of Google employees have successfully raised the issue of the company getting involved in defense program; and how Amazon employees have pledged the company to do something active in the field of climate change.

The capability of communicating in groups, broadcasting and receiving feedback, allows easier self-organization of groups with a purpose. It may be the most visible in ‘Big Tech’ where it may be more natural, but it will undoubtedly also change how large companies address certain issues.

Employees, like citizens, are increasingly empowered to raise to their leadership topics of concern and obtain a voice for change. Welcome to the Collaborative Age!

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How to Avoid Burn-Out – a Proven Approach

Burn-out is now recognized as an occupational condition in many countries and is observed to become increasingly prevalent. In this post ‘A simple strategy helps doctors fight burnout. Could it work for the rest of us?‘ a simple method is described that appears effective in hospitals, where it is a major concern.

This method is simply to get a conversation going about difficult workplace situations, with minimum framing and facilitation. “Wherever they are, the structure is the same. Organizers choose a topic: dealing with patients’ families, for example, or a deep dive into a particularly wrenching recent case. A pre-selected panel of volunteers shares their perspective to get the conversation started. Then it opens for discussion. Moderators gently steer away from efforts to diagnosis or solve problems—no small feat in a room of people who diagnosis and solve all day, every day. The normal hospital hierarchies do not apply. The only thing participants are allowed to do during rounds is talk about how they feel. No judging. No fixing. Just talking.“

The emotional connection thus created seems sufficient to recreate a sense of purpose and get rid of the strains that are at the source of burn-out. It has been observed that burn-out is not just physical (lack of sleep for example) but is also psychological such as loss of the sense of purpose. This method addresses directly the psychology and just creating a location for emotional sharing appears effective.

It goes to show that the modern workplace does not allow sufficiently deep emotional sharing and engagement, and that may be something that needs to be addressed more consistently.

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How Demanding Freedom Can Be

In the ‘Discourse of voluntary servitude’, La Boetie, a French philosopher of the 16th century, writes a formidable quote: “Man has a preference for voluntary servitude, because servitude is confortable and makes one irresponsible. Freedom on the other hand is very demanding.”

Those words written in the context of a political essay on dictatorship do echo in the modern organization. “Voluntary servitude” in an organization is much easier and much more comfortable than freedom. And that is something that people tend to forget when salaried workers express jealousy with respect to the self-employed or entrepreneur.

As an entrepreneur I do feel sometimes when I am tired or things are difficult that I would be certainly much more comfortable being just another piece of a large organization… although clearly the comfort is just an illusion: just notice how many people report they are stressed in the workplace.

Freedom is extremely demanding. It requires a lot of leadership and a lot of self-leadership and discipline. In the long run it is extremely rewarding too.

Choose freedom. It’s tough, but it’s worth it!

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How to Use the Ben Franklin Effect to Build Relationships

The Ben Franklin Effect (here on Wikipedia and on Quartz) is an interesting psychological effect: “a person who has already performed a favor for another is more likely to do another favor for the other than if they had received a favor from that person“. And we might use it more often.

As explained in Wikipedia, this effect can be used in commercial relations as well as in mentor-mentee situations. It can be triggered quite easily as in the famous personal example given by Franklin.

What is appalling of course is the reverse effect. “You tend to like the people to whom you are kind and dislike the people to whom you are rude“. The reverse effect might explain vendettas and other inadequate behaviors.

I am particularly interested about the experiment on the reverse effect which was performed in an educational context. “[the students] who received the insults [from the teachers] were rated as less attractive [by the teachers] than the ones who got encouragement”. This shows that not being nice or supportive to students will have a negative impact on the student but also on the teacher, creating a negative spiral.

All in all, we should probably be more aware of the Ben Franklin effect and maybe use it more proactively in the way we develop relationships.

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How to Define Ourselves Responding Adequately to Our Mistakes

I very much like this post by Valeria Maltoni which reminds us a great truth! ‘Mistakes Happen. It’s What we do With them that Makes a Difference‘ In my mind it is a bit similar to the old saying that the worth of a sea captain is only to be seen in a storm.

We all make mistakes, some more important than others. The issue is how we respond when we realize it. Do we pretend not to notice? Do we try to hide it? Do we spend too much time bashing ourselves on the fact we have made a mistake? Do we own the mistake, apologize, and sort it out?

In this area like in many others, I believe of course that owning it and responding to it properly (not reacting to it) is the right way. And also, as Valeria reminds us, people will remember us more about how we respond to our mistakes than in the normal course of life.

Thus, in terms or trust and reputation, the situation where we have to respond to mistakes is a defining moment. How do you define yourself?

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How Pain and Suffering Must Be Distinguished

There is a substantial distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is what is, and suffering is what we think it is. While pain will happen, depending on circumstances, suffering is optional.

I am always impressed by how much suffering impacts the behavior and balance of people. We tend to imagine how things could be and this creates often immense suffering, while there is no reality in this imagination, or at least no tangible realization. We tend to worry too much and this creates suffering.

This distinction is absolutely essential, and I find that too often people to mix both concepts. We can do something about suffering; it involves personal discipline, and living more in the present.

In your personal circumstances, can you identify what is pain and what is suffering?

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How Leadership is Really About Influence, Not Position or Authority

It is worth remembering from time to time that actual leadership is about influence. In large organizations it is still too often associated with position and hierarchy; and even more with formal authority levels. In reality, actual leadership shows in transverse situations where influence is key to get things done.

This is a particularly difficult issue because leadership is nowadays often an important source of value creation (creating new processes or products is always down to a transverse effort, often not formally framed), therefore, leadership capabilities should lead to higher compensation. However, as a skill it is difficult to measure and recognize.

I am often involved as a consultant in the definition of ‘influence’ positions where people monitor some progress, but are not formally in charge. This is typical for example of project manager or package managers which have to see that all the required elements will converge, but have no formal authority over all the contributors. Those positions require a lot of leadership and inter-personal communication capabilities. Yet they almost always fail to be recognized to their value by organizations, because they are transverse, and the skills required are distinct from a functional development trajectory.

At the end of the day, real leadership is about influence, and not about formal authority. It is about achieving things. Let us not be influenced by immediate recognition or authority. Being a leader is something of an internal calling, and the achievements brought by it are what count.

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How Bounding Back is More Important than Failing

I like this quote: “It is not how far you fall, but how high you bounce, that counts“. Attribution is controversial, but it remains quite relevant.

Increasingly I find that the behavior in front of adversity is what counts. It is all too easy to appear to do the right thing when events and luck provide success. And sometimes it is just luck but we still believe it is our skills.

Being able to recover from failure in a constructive way and fight back is what really makes the difference. And sometimes it is better to hire people who have struggled and maybe even failed, because it is far more instructive on ourselves and on how to do things right than just to coast through success.

I am not saying we should intend to fail, but that what’s really makes the difference is how we react in front of adversity.

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How Emotions Drive Organisational or Social Change

I love this Gapingvoid post ‘Why change management is emotional‘. It just hits the nail that every organization leader should avoid. Contrary to general belief, change can’t just be created by an executive decision and a powerpoint deck.

“The only thing that drives real change are emotions.

A major change is emotional brain chemistry and can be ignited just by a simple thing you do or say. Once you’ve flicked the switch, amazing things can happen. It should be supported by reason or argument”

It follows that it is essential at the start of a change management process to identify which are those emotions which you expect to change and address.

It may look hard, but actually when taken from the emotional side, change can be quite easy. What’s difficult is to figure out the hot button that will make the organization respond.

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How Life Replies to the Quality of Your Character

Robin Sharma writes “Life replies to the quality of your character. As you rise, everything ascends with you“.

I like this quote because it reminds us that what happens to us in great part depends on us and how we can elevate our character.

It also reminds us how important it is to improve the quality of our character as we advance through life. This happens through lessons learnt and sheet contemplation of our human condition.

It might be important to concentrate more on elevating our character, focusing on how we could have responded differently to certain situations. In any case that’s something I am striving to achieve.

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