There is a distinct difference between fitting-in and belonging, and this changes completely how we deal with situations where we try to enter a group.
“Fitting in and belonging are not the same thing, and, in fact, fitting in gets in the way of belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” – Brene Brown in ‘The Gifts of Imperfection‘.
According to Brene, belonging requires authenticity (and including acceptance of our imperfections) while fitting-in is an attempt to disguise ourselves to enter a group. The latter is obviously, on the long run, due to fail or at least put us in a quite uncomfortable position, which can sometimes lead to psychological consequences.
It is great to belong – although possibly difficult and rare. Do not try to fit-in at all costs believing that it is the same. It is not, and it is very uncomfortable. So right now, do you belong or do you fit-in?
