I am deeply scared.
Now that I have resigned from my conventional job to start my own venture, I am really, really, very scared.
It is a fear that comes from far. A fear not to be able to support my family. Of having taken the wrong decision.
Logically, I know I should not be so scared. I have savings to allow for some idle time. I am finalizing a significant contract for my new company that should allow to secure sufficient income in 2012.
Still, I can’t avoid to be scared. I have to learn to face my fear. And I am going through a tremendous learning curve now.
Of course I toyed with the idea of creating a company for some time. I spent hours on numerous simulation spreadsheets, studied the market, involved friends and sought advice. Still, now that I am in it, having cut the bridge to the company that employed me, WOW, fear hits big time! And it is not reality that hits, because reality seems to be OK – it is an irrational fear of the unknown with the thought that my life is at stake.
Now I do face my fear. And it is huge, scary, smelly. It is incredible. As I stand up to face it I feel exhilarated to look at my fear in the eye and with the internal belief that I am going to overcome it.
Because facing my fear makes me realize how committed I am and how deeply resilient I can be. Much more than I thought, actually.
Beyond fear I discover myself.
Maybe that’s an experience everybody should go through to discover oneself?
